Have child, will travel - our week in Guanxi province

Traveling with a little one in tow is a lot of work, especially when you are talking about planes and buses! Living in China, I don't want to be the family who doesn’t like to travel with kids. On the contrary, I want to be excited to travel with my child, even when it is a lot of work.

We recently took a trip to Guanxi province in Southern China, an area of China we have wanted to travel for a long time. Besides our trip back to the States over Christmas, it was the first time we really traveled with Atalie. And, it was the first time we have traveled together in China since moving here (trips to Shanghai excluded). Both Steven & I have made a few trips around China with friends in the three years we've lived here, but never together. I was excited to get out of our city for a bit and see a new side of China I hadn't experienced before. Plus, we would get to spend a whole week together!! That, in and of itself, is always the best reason to get away together. 

Our trip overall was amazing, we had some high highs and some low lows. Kind of like the mountains and rivers of the places we saw. I want to share more about Yangshuo in a separate post, but here I'll post some highlights & some hard spots. 

Selfie time at the riverfront park in Liuzhou

Highlight 1: Liuzhou

We got to visit our friend's hometown! Liuzhou is an ancient city with 18 bridges connecting the two sides across the river. Our sweet friend, Joy is from Liuzhou and it was fun to have her as tour guide. We got to see the riverfront, pick up a Starbucks mug (my souvenir of choice whenever we travel), and spend time with her family. Liuzhou is in the mountains and it was cool to see green and mountains peaking up through the city scape. The city also has a very different feel from what we are used to in Nanjing. Even though this time of year the temperatures are relatively the same, the people in Liuzhou dress more casually (women weren’t wearing hosiery, even in the heat of summer in Nanjing they all wear nylons) and it has more of an island or tropical feel to it. It was fun to see and experience!

Hard Spot 1: the bus rides

Atalie making friends on the airport bus back to Guilin

Liuzhou is in the mountains. I know. I already said that. We flew into Guilin, arriving at 9:30pm, and then we took the airport bus to Liuzhou...through the mountains. For two hours. That first night we didn't get to bed until 2am. The roads weren't in excellent condition either and bumpiness of the bus and the tired condition of the travelers made for an uncomfortable ride. We were traveling with another family who has two kids (1 & 3 years old). Considering how much time we were on a bus, the kids did great! Oh. We had our moments, like the day we left Liuzhou, traveled back to the airport at Guilin, picked up the rest of our traveling party and then took a private bus four hours in another direction into the mountains. One kid got sick, several adults were nauseous, and parts of the drive were a bit frightening. But we made it! We did it! With kiddos. High fives and fist bumps for everyone!

Highlight 2: The views!

Oh my. I have never seen more beautiful scenery in China. We really traveled off the beaten path, but it was gorgeous. To be surrounded by God's creation again was nourishing to my soul. Watching the mountains pass by outside the bus window made the long hours bearable. And the places we stayed had amazing views. After Liuzhou, we went to Jinxiu, an all inclusive Chinese resort village in the mountains. There was nothing else around. We were tucked in against a river and mountain sides. The air was clean & oh, the stars! Lovely. After Jinxiu we got back on the bus and spent our last two nights in Yangshuo. Amazing views of the mountains from our hotel. I didn't realize how much I missed the mountains.

The river at our resort in Jinxiu, and it was clean!

Driving through the mountains to and from Jinxiu

This was on the highway somewhere outside of Yangshuo

Hard Spot 2: Hard beds & squatty potties

A friendly host in our first room overlooking the river,
another good reason to change rooms!

At Jinxiu, our hotel was not what us spoiled Western travelers are used to. Actually, I’m not even sure how many Westerners had ever been to the hotel we stayed at. All the American kids attracted quite a bit of attention, Atalie included. At one point, she took pictures with several Chinese in a row! All it takes is one person to ask and then all their friends want a photo with the little white baby, too. I always wonder what they do with those photos…anyways, I digress. So the hotel was a bit off the beaten path, I won't go into details, but at first we were given a room overlooking the river with no A/C. Thankfully, one of our friends traveling with us negotiated with the manager and got our family and themselves rooms in the main building. So, we got the A/C, but with it came very hard beds and a squatty potty with shower combo! I share this as a hard spot because the second night I was already sore from sleeping on the bed the first night and could hardly sleep. But at least I wasn't sweating!! I'm glad I didn't know it would be like this. We just all had to grin and bear it. When traveling in China, it is best to be flexible and willing to go with the flow. We brought our own travel bed for Atalie, she definitely had the most comfortable place to sleep. 

Highlight 3: Taking Atalie swimming

At Jinxiu, we went swimming with Atalie in the river and our hotel in Yangshuo had a swimming pool. She loved it. I'm so glad she enjoyed the water! It was fun to splash around with her and I'm excited for when our pool here in our complex opens on July 1st!!

Swimming in the river at Jinxiu on Father’s Day (she wasn’t so sure about it at first)

Taking advantage of the pool at The Giggling Tree in Yangshuo

Hard Spot 3: Sickness

The day after we got back I was really sick. I finally threw up and then felt better. The next day, Steven got sick. Then, Atalie had diarrhea. That's what happens when you travel! We think we pinpointed the culprit, but it's not unusual to get sick when traveling in Asia. Thankfully, it was after we got home and not while on the plane!

Highlight 4: Yangshuo

The last two nights we spent in Yangshuo at a place called The Giggling Tree. I'll share more in another post, but this was definitely the highlight of the whole trip. It was a little oasis in China, good food, comfortable beds and gorgeous scenery. I hope we go back someday!

We went for a 3 hour bike ride through villages and rice patties with amazing views.  Atalie is in the carrier on Steven’s back.

I actually don't think I have a fourth "hard spot" to share. More highlights than hard spots! I’ll take it. Overall, it was an amazing week and we enjoyed time together as a family and the time with friends. I would travel again with them all any day - especially with kids! :-) 

The best shot we got of all of us! I guess that’s what happens when you travel with 11 adults and 4 kids.

Photo Recap - How we spent our time in the States

We made it back! The plane ride was a little harder returning to China. On the way over, with the benefit of the jet stream, the flight from Shanghai to Seattle was just over 9 hours. On the return, we were stuck on that plane for 12 hours! That's a long flight. Atalie did great though. A little fussy the last hour, but overall did well. At one point I finally put her in the Moby wrap to sleep and then stretched out across the row to sleep. Yes, a whole row. The plane was almost empty and almost everyone had a whole row to themselves. Note to self, fly on a Tuesday!

And, for as much as we drug Atalie around everywhere while in the States, she did great! What a trooper. Most days had no semblance of a routine, however, she pulled through. And I can't even tell you how many hours she spent in the carseat (that she hated). She was definitely along for the ride and handled it so well. It actually makes me more confident in her ability to handle change. Though she does nap better and get more rest with more consistency in her day, she can handle a chaotic day here and there and still be her sweet and silly self. 

It would be a worthy cause to detail out a recap of the six weeks we spent with friends and family. All the people we saw, doctors visits, road trips and food we ate. However, even if I had the time (which I'm not sure I do), I don't have the energy. Or something like that. Anyways, I can recap in pictures! And I can say that it was an awesome six weeks. We were a little too busy to relax or rest, but hey, why rest when you can visit all your friends and hang out with family you haven't seen in 18 months. 

Hanging out in the Pudong airport waiting for our flight

Do you think they are smitten?

Meeting Nana (Jessica's Grandma)

2am visits with the Christmas tree - fun for everyone (not)

Christmas Eve

Opening presents, kind of

Christmas Day (I'm a bad mom and the only picture I have of Atalie on Christmas is this one, that Kelly took)

We went to Arizona and made new friends

And rode ATV's with family

Atalie helped Steven scan over 3,000 family pictures. Yes, 3,000.

It snowed in Arizona! What?!?

Taking in the sunsets

We had fun at Grandma and Grandpa Wallace's house

 

We took mirror selfies

And family pictures

We took a day trip to Spokane to see friends, including these awesome people!

My family threw a baby shower for Atalie! Complete with Chinese themed cupcakes and lanterns. 

Grandma Stevens got to meet Atalie. She's 97 years old!!! 

We got to see many good friends (like Kyle & Mallory!)

Aunt Shannon introduced Atalie to Ms. Frizzle

While back in the States, Atalie started solid foods! Big milestone.

Atalie also made a new friend. Lucy enjoyed giving lots of kisses and packing around Atalie's toys.

Atalie got some good piano time in. She's a fast learner!

And, of course, we read lots of stories.

We had a marvelous time back in the States. Sorry for the novel of pictures. To be honest, I had a lot more I wanted to post and had to be choosy. I have a hard time making decisions...

Merry Christmas

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! 

18 hours - Atalie’s Birth Story

Atalie, just moments after birth

She made it! She’s here! And now she’s already two six weeks old.How did that happen? As one day blends and blurs into another, I haven’t had the time I thought I would to blog about her birth story. This probably will be written over several days weeks, bits and pieces coming together as I sneak away to the office. In one of the books Steven is reading about babies, the author says everything they do is a reflex, they’re not making choices, but rather reacting to the new world they have found themselves in. Well, I think one reflex they fail to mention is the one where the baby wakes up and cries whenever mom eats or tries to write a blog post. Just sayin’. I can get a shower in, but write a blog post? Out of the question…

We ended up spending a total of 16 days in Shanghai from the time we had our 40^th week appointment to when we caught a train back to Nanjing with our daughter in tow. Neither one of us expected to stay so long in Shanghai.  It was like a non-vacation, vacation. Thankfully, we were able to stay with friends and avoid living in a hotel during that time, it made the long stay much more bearable.

In my last post before she arrived, I shared that we were surpassing the 41 week mark and if I didn’t go into labor on my own I would be induced on Monday, August 25^th.  At first, the induction was planned for Friday, but my doctor came back into town on Thursday and asked if I wanted her involved (she had been on vacation since the 4^th and I had been seeing another doctor). I readily said, “yes!” and together we decided to push the induction back to Monday.  I really didn’t want to have a baby that came twelve days late, but since I had been praying for God’s timing, I really believe part of the reason Atalie came late was so my doctor could be there.

Sunday morning I started not feeling well and later that afternoon contractions started. However, they stopped by 8pm, which, though frustrating, was a blessing because I was able to go to bed. At 2:30am I woke up with contractions and lay there for an hour timing them. Steven then woke up around 3:30am and I told him we should probably start getting ready to go the hospital.  At that point my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. I was supposed to be induced at 7:00, but it was looking like I wouldn’t need that induction!

By 5:00am, after finishing up packing and showering, my contractions were getting stronger and closer together, about 3 minutes apart. I was also experiencing shaking and could no longer walk through a contraction. We called our doula to have her meet us at the hospital and caught a cab (which, fortunately, there were several parked right outside the apartment complex where we were staying).  

We arrived at the hospital at 6:00am and we were shown upstairs to the 7^th floor to labor and delivery. They put me in a wheelchair, I think mainly because they didn’t want to wait for me to waddle in between contractions. Louise, our doula, showed up shortly after.  At this point I was thinking I must be pretty far into labor, maybe even active labor. However, a cervical exam totally burst my bubble and the doctor on call informed me that I was only 1 cm dilated.

Using the birthing tub to relieve pain and relax  (on a side note, this photo of me
with Louise will be featured in an article for a Shanghai-based family magazine
about Shanghai Doulas and their business providing doula services. Cool, right?)

Since we were planning a water birth, they got the tub ready and I climbed in. It was instant relief. They made me get out at 9:30am for a period of fetal monitoring (which showed the baby was doing great), and I got back in 30 minutes later. Also worth noting, shortly after arriving at the hospital, I started vomiting about every 20 minutes or anytime I had something to eat or drink. Talk about exhausting! That part was terrible (and really gross). Labor is bad enough without emptying the contents of your stomach three times an hour.

Around 11:00am the contractions started to really pick up in intensity. I remember looking at the clock a lot between 11:00 and 1:00pm, knowing that around 1:00 they would do another cervical exam. It was the worst pain I’ve ever had. And now the contractions were 2 minutes apart and lasting over a minute, which meant I had zero time to rest. The water helped, but it was still excruciating and it took several times of repositioning myself to get somewhat comfortable. Louise and Steven took turns applying counter pressure to my lower back during contractions (and somehow they both ordered food and ate during this time, too – I don’t really remember much of that). I tried to eat lunch, but ended up throwing it all up ten minutes later. I was vomiting so much, that after awhile Louise and Steven started commenting on how awesome my projectile vomiting was becoming. At some point around noon, my doctor came in and talked to me about how everything was going. It wasn’t much of a “conversation” as every two minutes I had pain ripping up my back and wasn’t really able to talk much; she was obviously used to it as it didn’t faze her in the least.

After the epidural, all smiles!

Around 1:00pm I got out of the water for another cervical exam. In my head, I told myself that if I was making progress, maybe around 5-6cm, I could keep going without an epidural. But if I was less than 4cm I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it. Between the continuous vomiting and huge contractions every 2 minutes my energy was next to nothing and I was exhausted. I could barely walk from the tub to the bed. The doctor checked…I was still at 1cm, but dilating to 2cm during a contraction. Um, are you freaking kidding me? What has my body been doing for the past seven hours?!? My cervix was also swollen, which was probably what was making it hard to dilate. The doctor asked if I had been pushing (I hadn’t) as that can cause swelling. (Later, after Atalie showed up, we noticed a large contusion on the backside of her head and a dent on her left temple. Louise conjectured that Atalie was wedged in my pelvis and that it was probably the back of her head pushing on my cervix.)

Cue instant crying. That was it. There was no way I would be able to keep going at this rate. I didn’t hesitate in asking for the epidural, I was a hot mess of tears and sweat, shaking uncontrollably with makeup smearing down my face. I couldn’t even think straight; I needed some relief.

I don’t really remember much between the exam and when I got the epidural. I was lying on the bed, in the worst pain ever and there was a flurry of people in and out of the room. I do remember actually getting the epidural because it was one of the most awkward experiences I’ve had in a hospital (please lie on your side, in the fetal position and don’t move even though you are having a monster contraction). I got the epidural at 2:00pm and by 2:15 was already feeling relieved of the pain.  I was also at 2.5cm! Making progress. They gave me a “walking epidural” which meant I could still feel the contractions, but they were much less intense (more like pressure instead of pain). I could also walk, with assistance, which meant I could get up and go the bathroom and walk around the room when needed.

At 4:20pm, after getting up and using the bathroom, I was walking back to the bed when my water broke. Now that’s a weird feeling! I actually thought I had peed again as it trickled down my leg. The doctor on call was brought in to check my progress. I was now at 6cm! However, the rest of my water ruptured during the exam and it was a very dark green (which meant that Atalie had pooped meconium in the womb). All of sudden there were all these people in my room, an anesthesiologist, another doctor and three nurses. The doctor on call mentioned “C-section” to one of the nurses, another nurse stared at the meconium stained bed with her mouth gaping open and the anesthesiologist checked my epidural and informed me that, “your epidural still looks good. That’s a good thing since you will probably need a C-section.” Um…excuse me? Hasn’t the baby been fine all day? She had shown no signs of distress and she is 12 days late (it’s not uncommon for babies that late to poop before they are born, not out of distress, but because they are starting to function as they would outside the womb).

Louise was so supportive and encouraging! I would recommend hiring a doula,
she made the whole experience more  positive.

My doctor came a few minutes later to check on me. I asked her what my chances were of having a C-section and with a look of bewilderment she replied me, “Why are you asking that?” To which Louise informed her of the bedside manner and offhand comments made by the medical staff after my water broke. Let’s just say my doctor wasn’t very happy about their response (neither was Steven, he was upset at how they all reacted). She saw no reason to consider a C-section and to continue monitoring as usual with the intent of a vaginal delivery. I knew I loved my doctor, and the way she handled that situation made me over the moon for her. Seriously, she is a fantastic doctor and has amazing bedside manner. The next day we actually learned that Redleaf is using that whole situation as an opportunity to train their nurses and new doctors on appropriate responses and bedside manner in similar situations.

By 5:30pm (an hour later), my contractions started to feel different and Louise went and got the doctor on call – I was now at 9cm! By 6:30pm, I was still at 9cm and the baby had started descending and was at +1 station. My doctor returned, saying she wanted to go home for an hour or so to see her kids and then she’ll be back. She told me to rest because when she returned I was finally going to push. I slept until 8:30pm, and after waking up, I was fully dilated and the baby was at +2 station! Before pushing my doctor took me off the epidural (so I could self direct my pushing, meaning I decided when to push instead of being coached).

So tiny and so perfect

Pushing was the most empowering thing I have ever done. I’m sure those of you who have delivered babies can agree with me – it was amazing. Hard & exhausting for sure, but so amazing. I used the squat bar for a bit, but my legs were too tired to hold me up, so eventually I ended up semi-seated with support from both Steven & Louise. I pushed for just over an hour. Louise helped count me through contractions while I pushed. Being able to self direct my pushing helped me focus and feel in control, I really appreciated being able to choose when to push instead of being told. At Redleaf, they have midwives deliver the baby, so my doctor sat nearby overseeing both the midwife and me. She engaged with me and paid a lot of attention to me, helping me achieve the best outcome. The room was very calm and the attending staff were quiet (probably a little apprehensive after the earful they received earlier after my water broke). Later that week, Dr. Huebner told me it was her best delivery that week (out of five total) and was “beautifully done”. I think a lot of it had to do with having Louise there to help us. I felt calm and focused because I knew Louise would tell me what to do and Steven could be himself and fulfill the role of loving husband instead of coach.

At 10:10pm, after one final push, Atalie Joyce entered our world. They placed that tiny person on my chest and she was perfect. Because of the meconium in the fluid, she only stayed with me until Steven cut the cord and then she was whisked off to have her stomach pumped. Poor baby. After that experience she didn’t want to nurse for several hours. And she didn’t even open her eyes until much later on. I think she was just as exhausted as I was!

We wanted delayed cord cutting, and it took about 10 minutes for the cord to stop pulsating. Steven, of course, was super interested in the cord and was amazed as he watched it go from Atalie’s life source full of blood to a lifeless white cord. After he cut the cord, my placenta didn’t detach as is usual and I started bleeding a lot. I actually don’t really remember this part very well because my eyes were on Atalie, but I kept looking at Steven who had a very concerned look on his face. My doctor, who is usually calm and collected, started yelling at some of the staff (I guess they were just standing around not doing anything to help stop the bleeding). Finally, I got a shot of Pitocin, which started contractions to deliver the placenta and stop the bleeding. We found out later that I lost almost a liter of blood – kind of scary. No wonder Steven was worried – he watched all that blood pool on the table.

Our first family picture

Eventually, the staff trickled out of the room. We said goodnight to Dr. Huebner, who commented on how pleasurable it was to attend a birth where the husband was engaged and interested in what was happening. That’s Steven for you! For the next few hours, I enjoyed skin to skin as Steven and I marveled together at our new daughter. Louise accompanied us downstairs and waited until we settled in a bit before she said goodnight and returned home. And then it was just us with our new baby (and the night nurse, but I wasn’t very keen on her so let’s keep her out of this). The first night was a little rough, but we found a new rhythm in the hospital over the next several days. My recovery was slow at first; at least I thought it was. I felt so incredibly weak (taking a shower wore me out). After learning how much blood I had lost, I realized that my physical exhaustion was due not only to the fact I just had a baby but also because of the blood loss. Fortunately, I didn’t tear during pushing (yay!) so at least I also didn’t have to recover from stiches.

Even though I didn’t get my dream water birth, it was a very positive experience. I am so thankful that Atalie came late so my doctor could be there – she made a huge difference! Redleaf is a great hospital and beautiful facility, I am thankful that there exists a hospital in Shanghai such as Redleaf. 

And she’s here. She’s perfect. That’s all that matters.

She’s Here!

Less than a day old. Look at that face!!

She finally made it! Atalie Joyce Wallace was born on Monday, August 25th at 10:10pm. And no, I did NOT have to be induced. I woke up early Monday morning with contractions. Praise the Lord! I’ll save the rest of the story for a special “birth story” post, but we’ll just say it was a long day and worth every second. 

With Dr. Huebner, who oversaw the delivery
(a midwife actually delivered Atalie)

We spent the first three days in the hospital. It was a blissful state of day running into night and hanging out getting to know our new little one. Besides the nurses asking multiple times a day if she had pooped yet, there was little to get frustrated about. Although the nurses did have some great things to say. I need to do a post on all the different “advice” we were given while in the hospital, some of it was pretty funny. Our room was like a hotel room with a huge walk in shower and kitchenette. All the lights and thermostat were controlled on an iPad (it sounds cool until you are in a state of exhaustion trying to turn on the light by the bed in the middle of the night). The food was amazing, I’m not kidding. Steak, chicken, fish, pizza - it was all delicious. And the desserts, oh man, superb. I’d heard that Redleaf had good food, but it exceeded my expectations. Steven ordered most of his meals from a delivery service because though my meals were free, it was expensive for him to add on a meal.

Our hospital room. Yes, I know, it’s fancy. (And that’s Louise, our doula)

The wing of the hospital we stayed in. Would you guess this is a hospital?

We got back to Nanjing on Friday after spending a few hours at the US Consulate that morning to get Atalie’s passport and citizenship all sorted out. I was so nervous how Friday would go, but everything was super smooth (besides being at the Consulate’s Office forever), and Atalie slept basically the whole day making it super easy. She wouldn’t even wake up to eat, I had to “zombie feed” her as I like to call it. She’s talented, what can I say! One high speed train later and we were in a cab headed to our home. 

Atalie’s first Burger King experience, she slept through the whole thing

Since being home, the weeks have flown by. How has it already been two weeks since we got back? My full time job right now is producing milk and making sure Atalie eats and sleeps. The first week was a little hard adjusting to life with a newborn, but everyday got better. She actually cried more in the hospital than she did her first week at home. All I wanted to do all day was stare at her. It’s still hard to believe that she is ours. We made her, I grew her, birthed her and the hospital let us take her home. Madness. Beautiful madness. 

After that first week home, our sweet little newborn started to have fussy spells. Over the past week and a half, there have been a few really hard days. Overall, she does great and usually gets into her groove eating and sleeping. I can’t say she is more or less fussy than other babies - in fact, based on what I’ve been reading she’s pretty textbook, normal newborn fussiness. It seems about every other day or so she has a prolonged spell of fussiness. Tuesday this week was pretty bad, I had at least five meltdowns. Fortunately, when the worst is over she’ll take a really long nap and twice now I’ve been lucky enough to have her do that at night. Last night, she was fussy and catnapped from 6:00pm until midnight. But when we finally got her to sleep at midnight she slept 5 1/2 hours!!! I actually woke her up because I really needed her to eat (if you know what I mean). 

Our friend, Nikko, came over and took newborn pictures for us

And breastfeeding is improving. We definitely still have our challenges, but she is getting better at latching and I’m getting more patient. We weighed her ourselves at two weeks old (we haven’t been able to make it back for a check up for her yet) and she already put on over a pound! Pretty impressive. So, I think it’s safe to say that breastfeeding is going quite well. By the way, you should see Steven’s design for weighing the baby at home…I’ll give you a hint, it involves a duffle bag, large tupperware lid and a luggage scale. 

Gotta get snuggles with both the baby & Sam

How I spent most of the first week at home (notice Sam also got some cuddle time)

My mom gets here tonight and I’m ready for the daytime reinforcements. Steven has started going back to work this past week and it’s just easier when there is someone else at home. I’ve also learned to switch my mentality from “I should get something done today” to “if I don’t get anything done but hold and feed my baby, that’s ok”. It’s made the days I don’t get anything done easier to swallow, although I haven’t really had much to get done (besides laundry). Friends have been bringing us meals, our fridge and freezer are full and Steven has been awesome at keeping up with dishes. 

Our first family selfie, taken just after arriving home

Life is different with Atalie here, and I love it. It’s hard for me to imagine life without her, even on the hard days. The sweet moments we do have are pure bliss and help to make the hard days bearable. I love getting to know her, loving her, rocking her and falling asleep with her in my arms (sometimes unintentionally).  

One of those blissful moments

Steven getting work done and snuggling with Atalie, a true multi-tasker