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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Ramblings...

So, I have like a million thoughts roaming around my brain. Honestly, I could probably write several blog posts right now about all the things running around in my head. But I won’t because I don’t really have time to write more than one blog post and because I’m not sure you will want to hear all that babble. 

I’m thinking about Mother’s Day and after reading this blog post and the follow up posts and comments, my heart felt so confused. Not in a bad way. Rather, in an uncomfortable way that was pushing me out of my “box” and into new territory. I resonated with that blog post so much. How can we honor mothers yet not exclude other women? (I’m not wanting to start a dialogue on here, just asking the question that is in my head) And then, on Mother’s Day, in a country that doesn’t celebrate it, our church did. And they asked all mothers to come to the front. Not just stand up, to come up to the front. My heart sank. I sat there (yes, I sat, I know I’m pregnant but I did not go up) thinking “Is anyone hurt by this? Why does this bother me so much? How can something meant to honor such an important person feel wrong?” So yeah, it was weird. My heart was heavy the rest of the day. And then, after church I ate lunch with a Chinese gal who shared with me that she had to “get rid of” her second pregnancy because of the one child policy. She already has a daughter. When her daughter was two, she got pregnant again. In her own words, “I had no choice, I had to get rid of it. It was so hard to do because to me that was my baby, it was life. It hurt me. Now I try really hard to not get pregnant because I don’t want to have to do that again.” My heart broke again listening to her struggle. She didn’t share with me so I could pity her, she was factual in her retelling yet also graceful. I’m not even sure why she told me, I guess because she was asking about my pregnancy and we were sharing stories. Let’s just say Mother’s Day touched my heart in a way it hasn’t been touched before (maybe because God is shaping it into a mother’s heart?). 

The nursery is currently in an uproar. Ok, it’s not that bad - but it’s not even close to ready. We have one wardrobe full of all things baby and it’s somewhat organized. I had to get it organized because my friend graciously threw a baby shower for me & Peanut a few weeks ago and I needed to make sure I had space to put all the wonderful gifts we got. I’m ready to start getting that nursery ready! I have also been really wanting a rocking chair or glider for the nursery and thought I wouldn’t be able to find a comfortable one without breaking the bank, however, last weekend I was hired to photograph a maternity session for a couple expecting their first later this month and they had a glider in their nursery! I was so excited about it. And they got it on Taobao!! Why didn’t I think of that? Man, Taobao really does have everything (as my husband always says). 

Pregnancy is still going well. I don’t have a new belly photo for you…hmmm…I should do that today. Baby girl is super active and rolls and tumbles all the time. She also gets the hiccups almost every day. It’s cute. I’m liking this stage of pregnancy much more than the first trimester. 

I think that’s enough rambling for today. I’ll try and post some pictures of the baby bump later this week. And I have a few other posts I’ve been wanting to get up. Hmmm…get the nursery ready or blog? That is the question.