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| Atalie, just moments after birth |
She made it! She’s here! And now she’s already two six
weeks old.How did that happen? As one day blends and blurs into another, I
haven’t had the time I thought I would to blog about her birth story. This
probably will be written over several days weeks, bits and pieces coming
together as I sneak away to the office. In one of the books Steven is reading
about babies, the author says everything they do is a reflex, they’re not
making choices, but rather reacting to the new world they have found themselves
in. Well, I think one reflex they fail to mention is the one where the baby
wakes up and cries whenever mom eats or tries to write a blog post. Just
sayin’. I can get a shower in, but write a blog post? Out of the question…
We ended up spending a total of 16 days in Shanghai from the
time we had our 40th week appointment to when we caught a train back
to Nanjing with our daughter in tow. Neither one of us expected to stay so long
in Shanghai. It was like a non-vacation,
vacation. Thankfully, we were able to stay with friends and avoid living in a
hotel during that time, it made the long stay much more bearable.
In my last post before she arrived, I shared that we were
surpassing the 41 week mark and if I didn’t go into labor on my own I would be
induced on Monday, August 25th.
At first, the induction was planned for Friday, but my doctor came back
into town on Thursday and asked if I wanted her involved (she had been on
vacation since the 4th and I had been seeing another doctor). I
readily said, “yes!” and together we decided to push the induction back to
Monday. I really didn’t want to have a
baby that came twelve days late, but since I had been praying for God’s timing,
I really believe part of the reason Atalie came late was so my doctor could be
there.
Sunday morning I started not feeling well and later that
afternoon contractions started. However, they stopped by 8pm, which, though
frustrating, was a blessing because I was able to go to bed. At 2:30am I woke
up with contractions and lay there for an hour timing them. Steven then woke up
around 3:30am and I told him we should probably start getting ready to go the
hospital. At that point my contractions
were about 5 minutes apart. I was supposed to be induced at 7:00, but it was
looking like I wouldn’t need that induction!
By 5:00am, after finishing up packing and showering, my
contractions were getting stronger and closer together, about 3 minutes apart.
I was also experiencing shaking and could no longer walk through a contraction.
We called our doula to have her meet us at the hospital and caught a cab
(which, fortunately, there were several parked right outside the apartment
complex where we were staying).
We arrived at the hospital at 6:00am and we were shown upstairs
to the 7th floor to labor and delivery. They put me in a wheelchair,
I think mainly because they didn’t want to wait for me to waddle in between
contractions. Louise, our doula, showed up shortly after. At this point I was thinking I must be pretty
far into labor, maybe even active labor. However, a cervical exam totally burst
my bubble and the doctor on call informed me that I was only 1 cm dilated.
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| Using the birthing tub to relieve pain and relax (on a side note, this photo of me with Louise will be featured in an article for a Shanghai-based family magazine about Shanghai Doulas and their business providing doula services. Cool, right?) |
Since we were planning a water birth, they got the tub ready
and I climbed in. It was instant relief. They made me get out at 9:30am for a period
of fetal monitoring (which showed the baby was doing great), and I got back in
30 minutes later. Also worth noting, shortly after arriving at the hospital, I started
vomiting about every 20 minutes or anytime I had something to eat or drink.
Talk about exhausting! That part was terrible (and really gross). Labor is bad
enough without emptying the contents of your stomach three times an hour.
Around 11:00am the contractions started to really pick up in
intensity. I remember looking at the clock a lot between 11:00 and 1:00pm,
knowing that around 1:00 they would do another cervical exam. It was the worst
pain I’ve ever had. And now the contractions were 2 minutes apart and lasting
over a minute, which meant I had zero time to rest. The water helped, but it
was still excruciating and it took several times of repositioning myself to get
somewhat comfortable. Louise and Steven took turns applying counter pressure to
my lower back during contractions (and somehow they both ordered food and ate
during this time, too – I don’t really remember much of that). I tried to eat
lunch, but ended up throwing it all up ten minutes later. I was vomiting so
much, that after awhile Louise and Steven started commenting on how awesome my
projectile vomiting was becoming. At some point around noon, my doctor came in
and talked to me about how everything was going. It wasn’t much of a
“conversation” as every two minutes I had pain ripping up my back and wasn’t
really able to talk much; she was obviously used to it as it didn’t faze her in
the least.
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| After the epidural, all smiles! |
Around 1:00pm I got out of the water for another cervical
exam. In my head, I told myself that if I was making progress, maybe around
5-6cm, I could keep going without an epidural. But if I was less than 4cm I
wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it. Between the continuous vomiting and
huge contractions every 2 minutes my energy was next to nothing and I was
exhausted. I could barely walk from the tub to the bed. The doctor checked…I
was still at 1cm, but dilating to 2cm during a contraction. Um, are you
freaking kidding me? What has my body been doing for the past seven hours?!? My
cervix was also swollen, which was probably what was making it hard to dilate. The
doctor asked if I had been pushing (I hadn’t) as that can cause swelling.
(Later, after Atalie showed up, we noticed a large contusion on the backside of
her head and a dent on her left temple. Louise conjectured that Atalie was
wedged in my pelvis and that it was probably the back of her head pushing on my
cervix.)
Cue instant crying. That was it. There was no way I would be
able to keep going at this rate. I didn’t hesitate in asking for the epidural,
I was a hot mess of tears and sweat, shaking uncontrollably with makeup smearing
down my face. I couldn’t even think straight; I needed some relief.
I don’t really remember much between the exam and when I got
the epidural. I was lying on the bed, in the worst pain ever and there was a
flurry of people in and out of the room. I do remember actually getting the
epidural because it was one of the most awkward experiences I’ve had in a
hospital (please lie on your side, in the fetal position and don’t move even
though you are having a monster contraction). I got the epidural at 2:00pm and
by 2:15 was already feeling relieved of the pain. I was also at 2.5cm! Making progress. They
gave me a “walking epidural” which meant I could still feel the contractions,
but they were much less intense (more like pressure instead of pain). I could also
walk, with assistance, which meant I could get up and go the bathroom and walk
around the room when needed.
At 4:20pm, after getting up and using the bathroom, I was
walking back to the bed when my water broke. Now that’s a weird feeling! I
actually thought I had peed again as it trickled down my leg. The doctor on
call was brought in to check my progress. I was now at 6cm! However, the rest
of my water ruptured during the exam and it was a very dark green (which meant that Atalie had pooped meconium in the womb). All of
sudden there were all these people in my room, an anesthesiologist, another
doctor and three nurses. The doctor on call mentioned “C-section” to one of the
nurses, another nurse stared at the meconium stained bed with her mouth gaping
open and the anesthesiologist checked my epidural and informed me that, “your
epidural still looks good. That’s a good thing since you will probably need a C-section.”
Um…excuse me? Hasn’t the baby been fine all day? She had shown no signs of
distress and she is 12 days late (it’s not uncommon for babies that late to
poop before they are born, not out of distress, but because they are starting
to function as they would outside the womb).
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| Louise was so supportive and encouraging! I would recommend hiring a doula, she made the whole experience more positive. |
My doctor came a few minutes later to check on me. I asked
her what my chances were of having a C-section and with a look of bewilderment
she replied me, “Why are you asking that?” To which Louise informed her of the
bedside manner and offhand comments made by the medical staff after my water
broke. Let’s just say my doctor wasn’t very happy about their response (neither
was Steven, he was upset at how they all reacted). She saw no reason to
consider a C-section and to continue monitoring as usual with the intent of a
vaginal delivery. I knew I loved my doctor, and the way she handled that
situation made me over the moon for her. Seriously, she is a fantastic doctor
and has amazing bedside manner. The next day we actually learned that Redleaf
is using that whole situation as an opportunity to train their nurses and new
doctors on appropriate responses and bedside manner in similar situations.
By 5:30pm (an hour later), my contractions started to feel
different and Louise went and got the doctor on call – I was now at 9cm! By
6:30pm, I was still at 9cm and the baby had started descending and was at +1
station. My doctor returned, saying she wanted to go home for an hour or so to
see her kids and then she’ll be back. She told me to rest because when she
returned I was finally going to push. I slept until 8:30pm, and after waking
up, I was fully dilated and the baby was at +2 station! Before pushing my
doctor took me off the epidural (so I could self direct my pushing, meaning I
decided when to push instead of being coached).
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| So tiny and so perfect |
Pushing was the most empowering thing I have ever done. I’m
sure those of you who have delivered babies can agree with me – it was amazing.
Hard & exhausting for sure, but so amazing. I used the squat bar for a bit,
but my legs were too tired to hold me up, so eventually I ended up semi-seated
with support from both Steven & Louise. I pushed for just over an hour.
Louise helped count me through contractions while I pushed. Being able to self
direct my pushing helped me focus and feel in control, I really appreciated
being able to choose when to push instead of being told. At Redleaf, they have
midwives deliver the baby, so my doctor sat nearby overseeing both the midwife
and me. She engaged with me and paid a lot of attention to me, helping me
achieve the best outcome. The room was very calm and the attending staff were
quiet (probably a little apprehensive after the earful they received earlier
after my water broke). Later that week, Dr. Huebner told me it was her best
delivery that week (out of five total) and was “beautifully done”. I think a
lot of it had to do with having Louise there to help us. I felt calm and
focused because I knew Louise would tell me what to do and Steven could be
himself and fulfill the role of loving husband instead of coach.
At 10:10pm, after one final push, Atalie Joyce entered our
world. They placed that tiny person on my chest and she was perfect. Because of
the meconium in the fluid, she only stayed with me until Steven cut the cord
and then she was whisked off to have her stomach pumped. Poor baby. After that
experience she didn’t want to nurse for several hours. And she didn’t even open
her eyes until much later on. I think she was just as exhausted as I was!
We wanted delayed cord cutting, and it took about 10 minutes
for the cord to stop pulsating. Steven, of course, was super interested in the
cord and was amazed as he watched it go from Atalie’s life source full of blood
to a lifeless white cord. After he cut the cord, my placenta didn’t detach as
is usual and I started bleeding a lot. I actually don’t really remember this
part very well because my eyes were on Atalie, but I kept looking at Steven who
had a very concerned look on his face. My doctor, who is usually calm and
collected, started yelling at some of the staff (I guess they were just
standing around not doing anything to help stop the bleeding). Finally, I got a
shot of Pitocin, which started contractions to deliver the placenta and stop
the bleeding. We found out later that I lost almost a liter of blood – kind of
scary. No wonder Steven was worried – he watched all that blood pool on the
table.
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| Our first family picture |
Eventually, the staff trickled out of the room. We said
goodnight to Dr. Huebner, who commented on how pleasurable it was to attend a
birth where the husband was engaged and interested in what was happening.
That’s Steven for you! For the next few hours, I enjoyed skin to skin as Steven
and I marveled together at our new daughter. Louise accompanied us downstairs
and waited until we settled in a bit before she said goodnight and returned
home. And then it was just us with our new baby (and the night nurse, but I
wasn’t very keen on her so let’s keep her out of this). The first night was a
little rough, but we found a new rhythm in the hospital over the next several
days. My recovery was slow at first; at least I thought it was. I felt so incredibly weak
(taking a shower wore me out). After learning how much blood I had lost, I
realized that my physical exhaustion was due not only to the fact I just had a
baby but also because of the blood loss. Fortunately, I didn’t tear during
pushing (yay!) so at least I also didn’t have to recover from stiches.
Even though I didn’t get my dream water birth, it was a very
positive experience. I am so thankful that Atalie came late so my doctor could
be there – she made a huge difference! Redleaf is a great hospital and
beautiful facility, I am thankful that there exists a hospital in Shanghai such
as Redleaf.
And she’s here. She’s perfect. That’s all that matters.
